


I Will Protect Thee

by Basched



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Condoms, First Time, Humour, Instruction manual, M/M, Shopping, Slash, Slight Hurt/Comfort, Strawberries, mentions of Bucky - Freeform, mentions of Jane Foster - Freeform, mentions of Loki - Freeform, mentions of mpreg, offscreen character deaths, onesided Dum-E/Tony, slight Bruce/Pepper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:47:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basched/pseuds/Basched
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor goes on a very important mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel/companion story to my fic Saving Dum-E. Recommended you read that first in order for some of this story to make sense. 
> 
> In this little 'verse, I have imposed my own wishes for how Thor2 and Captain America 2 pans out. Sorry, but three characters are 'out of the picture' but it's not mentioned too much, its just so I can put my two favourites together for the story. 
> 
> It's beta'd by Celeste9 but mistakes are all mine. Do enjoy.

He should have expected the attention; after all, he did stick out, even when he wore regular clothes.

Thor walked through the store, smiling gratefully at the people who approached him. Their thanks for him saving the city were heart-warming and he welcomed them all sincerely. He answered what he could of their questions and signed autographs but he was pre-occupied. He smiled as best he could for some pictures and shook hands with the public, but Thor Odinson was trying to focus on solving this problem.

He didn’t come out to the city on his own much, in fact a few months ago he wouldn’t have come out at all as he was still tangled with grief, but now was different. He was given new hope and someone new to care for so this errand he was on was urgent. It was growing ever more so with the seconds that passed.

On the way throughout the store, he picked up a few things that caught his eye—several boxes of pop tarts and some doughnuts—but still he couldn’t find what he was here for.

“Are you okay?” asked the store manager, who came rushing out to greet him and offer his own praises and thanks. “You seem troubled.”

The manager shooed off the rest of the customers and walked by Thor’s side as they wandered up and down the aisles. The customers and a few more people, who came in from the street to see what the fuss was about, followed, listening and all very eager to help out the Avenger.

“I am vexed, nay, confused. I do not think I shall find here what I seek. My friend erred with his advice. Forgive my intrusion on your day.”

“You haven’t intruded on us, sir,” said the manager as about six members of his staff herded around them, grinning and hoping to be of service. “Tell us what you are looking for and I can help. I’m sure I can. My staff and I are more than willing to, especially after everything you and the Avengers have done.”

There was a great murmur of agreement. It was then the manager requested the customers allow Thor some space and privacy. Reluctantly they did and they went about—or tried to go about—their own shopping.

“Thank you.” Thor bowed gratefully. “I welcome your aid.”

“So? What are you looking for?”

“I know not what it looks like, nor what it is exactly, but I assume it will be in your armour department. Direct me to such an aisle and I will find it there, I am certain.” The look of confusion on the Manager’s face and on the faces of the members of staff standing by him only confused Thor further. “You do have an armour aisle, do you not?”

“No, sir, this isn’t that kind of a store.”

“Indeed. Then Tony Stark is certainly in error, though I do wonder why he sent me here instead of giving me some of his own.”

“Oh, if you’re looking for something that Mr Stark makes, then you are definitely in the wrong place.”

“Nay, it was he who told me to come here. He told me that this was the exact place.” There was a momentary pause when Thor realised Tony Stark had deceived him and that he had completely misinterpreted what it was he was after. “Wait, forgive me… I am looking for ‘protection.’”

Quite why the manager and the three other male staff members suddenly ran off and left Thor alone with three very happy looking females, was unclear, but he was confused. They were smiling at him very provocatively, very much as most females—on Midgard and Asgard—tended to do.

They knew what it was he was after.

“You can help me, yes?” he asked hopefully.

They didn’t say a thing. Instead their wide eyes simply screamed desire. The women wanted him, sexually.

Thor smiled softly and waited as they did nothing but continue to look at him in a sexual manner. After a few minutes of being lustfully stared at, he grew a little uncomfortable. He knew they were attracted to him, but their attentions were not what he wanted. Eventually the women finally came back to reality and very slowly led Thor across the store. They came to a halt in front of a shelf that had numerous small packages upon it and all were in different but bright colours.

This… this was what he needed? Were they jesting?

Thor scowled and picked one packet up, reading the lettering on the front but not fully comprehending their meaning. He compared it to some of the others and was amazed at how many different brands there were. There were so many to choose from, so how could he pick the right one?

“You might want to choose the extra-large.” One girl—she barely looked to be out of her teens—picked up a different pack to the one he held and handed it to Thor, her eyes straying down to between his legs. The women all giggled, though he wasn’t sure what was so funny about his manhood.

Yes, he was taller and broader in build than most Midgardian males, so the right size for protection was essential, it was no laughing matter. However, Thor wasn’t sure how the sizes could differ when the packages were the same.

How could something so small possibly protect him?

“Are you certain I would be protected with this? Would not body armour be more appropriate?”

The women giggled again and they were looking just as astonished as he was.

“This is body armour!” said one, a tall lady with brown curly hair. “In a way.”

“Ah. I see. How does it work?”

The women squealed and choked in shock at that statement. Their eyes widened and the two youngest had to turn away, hiding their smiles and stifling their disbelieving laughs behind their hands. These women were actually astonished that he had asked that question, though Thor thought it a pertinent and reasonable one, not one that was to be scoffed at or taken lightly.

Maybe this protection came with a set of simple instructions and all Thor needed to do was follow those instructions instead of asking.

“Do… do you not have these on your world?” asked the first woman, who had the name tag Brenda on her uniform. Thor shook his head. “Then how do you prevent getting sexually transmitted diseases? How do you prevent getting your women pregnant?”

“This is what this protection does?”

“Well, yes.”

“How?”

Again, such a simple and honest question had the Midgardian women in some kind of fit. Their snorts of laughter and blushing faces were the normal and expected reactions to someone telling a joke, but this was far from folly or humorous.

“You… put them…on your…” Brenda cleared her throat again and pointed to his crotch. “You wear it on your … penis when you have….sex.”

Thor now understood and it made perfect sense as to why it was needed.

 

_“I’ll ask Tony if he can help out with that.”_

_“No. I will ask him.”_

_“No, it’s okay, I can ask him…”_

_“I shall take but a minute. Stay here, rest. I will ask him for this protection you speak of.”_

_“Thor, do you know what you’re doing? It is Tony Stark you’ll be dealing with.”_

_“Aye. I know what I am doing and why. I’m doing this for us.”_

 

Asking Tony Stark was a mistake.

Tony had sent him here thinking this would embarrass him? This was a joke of some kind, to lift his spirits? Foolish man. Asgardians were not as shy or reluctant to talk about sex as humans were. This did not embarrass him. In fact it intrigued him further. He was not clued in to many Midgardian customs and these peculiar little packets of penis armour were extremely curious to him.

“So how do your people prevent sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy?” Brenda asked again, a little more forcefully. 

Thor nodded and realised he had to answer.

“There are no sexually transmitted diseases between Asgardians, our immune systems are adaptive and there have not been any cases of disease or illness contracted in this manner for more than a hundred millennia. As for pregnancy, we don’t become fertile until we are bonded to our mates. I am not yet bonded so that isn’t a worry for me.”

“Really? Wow!”

“It’s perfectly normal for us. We cannot father children with humans unless we are bonded and made fertile. If one of Asgard were to lay with one of Midgard…” Thor closed his eyes for a moment, conflicted as a pang of grief stabbed at his chest, then he opened them and smiled gently once more, “their immunity is much more fragile than our own so then these must be vital precautionary measures. I shall purchase some of these con-domes.”

“What?” 

The women began to ask him questions, all at the same time. When curious onlookers heard, they crowded around him and they too began to ask questions. The questions were many and not all of them were ones that Thor wanted to answer.

He had taken far too long on this task and he had to get out of here soon.

Thor held up his hand to silence them all.

“You have been of great help and thank you all, but I must go.” Thor bundled up more condom packets into his arms but paused as he scrutinised the other kind on display. He picked up some more, noting the utter astonishment the people were expressing. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“You need that many?” one woman gasped, barely holding in her excitement.

“Do I need fewer then? These things endure, they last many bouts?”

“Bouts?”

Humans. They truly were a marvel.

The poor women couldn’t say anything further and Thor understood why. They were far too excitable. Now, the best thing Thor could do was purchase these things—and the pop tarts and doughnuts—and get back to Stark’s tower. 

He would not be asking Iron Man about how these things worked or what else to do with them for he would figure it out for himself, just like he did with the cell phones, the pagers, internet and those bidet things in the fancy bathrooms. Thor could adapt and learn.

“Again, much thanks. Good day to you all.” Thor bowed gratefully and was about to go and pay when he heard a different commotion.

The crowd had dispersed away from him and were now milling around someone else who had come through the door. There were flashes of cameras going off and the crowd of people seemed to grow more excited.

It wasn’t hard to see why. The man was an icon, an idol to their country and a source of goodness and hope to them all. Thor’s smile beamed brighter, for the man was the same for him. He felt his spirits lift at the sight of his fellow Avenger, of the man who had helped him through his grief. The smile on his face broadened to a heartfelt grin.

“Steven! Over here!” His voice boomed across the store and parted the crowds instantly to reveal Captain Rogers in the middle of them, looking very overwhelmed. “Captain!”

The human Avenger managed to make his way over to Thor, doing pretty much what Thor had to do when he first entered this establishment. He signed some pictures and posed for the cameras, he did it in the usual friendly and sincere manner with which Thor associated with his teammate before politely excusing himself to speak to Thor.

“You found me, this is good!” Thor grinned even more as he took in the Captain’s immaculate appearance. Though the out of time human was wearing more modern clothes now, he still managed to dress in a manner that screamed the 1940s. “I apologise for taking so long, but these ladies were assisting me. I got lost, but fortunately they were able to show me what I required.”

Steve shook his head with some disbelief but kept that happy smile as he asked for one of the customer’s shopping baskets. It was empty and just right to put Thor’s donuts and pop tarts in. He then lowered his voice so no one else could hear.

“Thor! Are you crazy, what are you doing here? Coulson and SHIELD had a field day when we found out you’d gone from the tower. Are you okay?”

“I am fine, thank you.” 

“Why have you come here?”

“Stark told me to come here.”

“Tony told you--? Why did he send you here when…” Steve coughed nervously, “when he’s got plenty of his own? A man like Tony Stark always has his own! He couldn’t have lent you one?”

“He said he had none but I now know this not to be true and my coming here was supposed to be a joke to embarrass me. He thought my attempts of finding these con-domes might have hilarious consequences and that I would fail in my mission. He is, of course, thoroughly wrong, though… I had no idea there were so many varieties!”

“That’s lovely, Thor, now can we get out of here before this is splashed over the news…huh, what? There’s more than one kind of...?”

“There are various sizes and colours,” Thor said, reading each packet in absolute awe and throwing handfuls of them into the basket. “Some have extra sensitive loo-be, loo-be that tingles and loo-be that warms! Whatever this loo-be may be!”

“It’s pronounced lube, Thor.”

“Ah. While I know that armour can be vastly different depending on its owner, I have never known any to be edible! These ones are flavoured, Steven! Why anyone would wish to eat the thing that protects them, I know not. For starters, these would not satisfy the hunger of any one from Asgard. They are so puny!”

“They’re not to eat eat!” Steve tried to put some of the condoms back, but gave up as Thor continued to put more in the basket.

“No?”

“Thor…it’s when you have oral sex!” Steve was really trying hard to not get all flustered over this. It was one thing to talk candidly about sex and such things with his friends back in the 40s but trying to explain this to a Norse God in the middle of a busy superstore? This really wasn’t great.

Thor’s smile beamed widely. It wasn’t the innocent childlike goofy grin either, it was the kind of grin that was very suggestive and dirty. A low outright filthy chuckle rumbled in Thor’s chest.

“Of course! Though I prefer my partners to savour my natural taste, there would be great many benefits of having other flavours!”

“Thor…can you please purchase them now? Coulson is outside waiting to take us back!”

Thor nodded, but he still dropped more packets into the basket, inspecting the odd one or two that caught his eye. The last one he picked off the shelf made him pause and inspect the writing on the side. He jabbed Steve slightly with his elbow and smirked.

“Hark, Captain! There are ones ribbed, for extra pleasure!” Another packet turned his devilish smile into another confused glare. “These might be worth a try but what uses or benefits are there to those that glow in the dark? If one cannot find their own manhood, they surely must be chilled, drunk or very tiny.”

“I suppose it helps when there’s no light. An aid of sorts.” Steve uttered, falsely smiling and waving at a passing mother and her child.

Thor chuckled again.

“Ha! But would it not be more fun to fumble in the dark? Steven, you should take some of these. You should try them all.”

The giggles from the women turned to gasps and then there was stunned silence. Thor saw looks of startled surprise on the women’s faces and then he noticed that the other customers looked the same way. Steve looked positively horrified.

“Thor!”

“What? I did not imply that you are tiny. I merely thought that as you are sexually active too, Captain, you should take some for yourself. These are vital to prevent diseases and pregnancy during sex and so you need to be careful.”

“I know that, Thor.”

“I don’t know if I can pass on diseases to a human, but it would be best to side with caution. I do know for a fact that I cannot become pregnant.”

“Well, no!” A burst of laughter erupted from Steve as he guided Thor away from the onlookers and towards the payment counter. He had to catch his breath for a moment but it wasn’t easy, especially with the way Thor had come out with such a statement. “Oh, Thor…men don’t get pregnant! They can’t!”

Thor dropped everything on the counter and turned to Steve, shocked.

“Human men cannot?”

It was Steve’s turn to be stunned. His mouth dropped open and all he could do was stare wide-eyed at Thor, gasping like a fish out of water. He couldn’t say a thing, nor could the young man behind the till. After a few moments, Steve managed to stammer out something.

“Y-y-you can?”

“Tis possible, aye. If you cannot, then I feel for you and all Midgardian men,” Thor sighed. “To not know the true miracle of birth, to not be able to experience it…it saddens me deeply. My brother…Loki…had that pleasure.”

“Huh? He…he did?”

“Oh yes, but then there are very few female Jotuns anyway, it’s rare for them to be born. The dwarves of Nidaveller, their males can produce offspring as can the Dark Elves of Svartalheim and the fire Demons of Muspelheim. It is sad human males cannot. You are missing out on something truly wonderful.”

“Oh…” Steve again gawped like a fish, the words unable to vocalise at the bizarre mental images flooding his mind. As he tried to shake off those images —how? How was it possible?--his inner voice chanted over and over ‘pay for the goods, just pay for the goods and let’s get out of here. Please!’ 

“Have no fear, Steven.” Thor brightened considerably and whacked Rogers heartily on the back. “Becoming a parent is not feasible right now. I’m still young. I’ve not yet reached my third millennium! We…I still have plenty of time.”

“Third millennium?” Steve gulped and swayed. Thor steadied him by placing a single hand on his shoulder. It took a moment before he was able to stand on his own. “You’re nearly three _thousand_ years old?”

“How old did you think I was?”

Steve just opened and closed his mouth, unable to really respond or accept the fact that Thor had been alive thousands of years before anyone on this entire planet was born. But surely Steve knew that he was long lived already? The legend and stories of Thor and his people dated back centuries. Perhaps thinking of it only in centuries instead of millennia was a little easier to cope with? 

Thor smiled, clearly amused, and patted Steve on the back. 

The young man behind the counter was looking at them with an equally stunned expression but he couldn’t say anything either and when Thor smiled and thrust over the multitude of condoms, along with the pop tarts and donuts, the boy could barely scan them properly, his hands were shaking so much.

It took a while, but eventually it was all priced up. Thor handed over the money and much to the relief of Rogers, they left the store as quickly as possible. Coulson was already outside waiting with a car, so the two of them were able to get away from the crowd of people who wanted to see more of the two Avengers. 

“Next time, Thor,” Coulson said, “if you need anything, including condoms, we’d appreciate it if you just asked us. We’ll get it for you.”

“It’s all right, son of Coul.” Thor picked up the box of doughnuts and offered one to the SHIELD agent. Coulson picked one out and bobbed his head in thanks before taking a bite. “We have plenty now.”

“That’s good to know.”

“And we intend to use them all.”

Steve choked once more and turned a bright red, especially when he saw Coulson’s sly smirk in the rear view mirror.

“We are?” he gasped.

Thor nodded, his mouth full of doughnut.

“Aye! It will be glorious!”

 

\-------------

 

“What the hell, Tony? Why didn’t you give him one of yours?”

Stark laughed, patted Steve’s face and drew him into a comforting hug. Thor saw the crafty but understanding look Tony gave him over Steve’s shoulder, before he released Steve and casually slipped onto the bar stool.

“Did the ever prepared Captain America not have one?” Tony asked, nodding to Dum-E to pour his next drink. The repaired AI obediently did so, ‘whistling’ a chirpy tune as it did. Stark frowned. “Stop that.”

Dum-E whined and then gently nudged over his drink.

“So, Cap?” Stark cooed and fluttered his eyelids. “You weren’t prepared for your big night?”

“This wasn’t planned, Tony.”

“Of course, I understand! Your suit doesn’t have pockets! You might want to talk to Coulson about a redesign…they’re ever so handy.”

“Oh, ha ha. Look, for your information, Thor decided to ask you instead of me, he wanted to. He offered and when he did, instead of just simply giving him what he needed, you sent him off into the city on his own, for a joke!”

“Cap?”

“Oh my god, you were bored. Weren’t you?” Steve shook his head and laughed, as if he should have known. Tony winked back at him and gave him a look that practically said _‘Yeah, you should have known.’_ Steve rubbed a frustrated hand across his brow. “You were bored!”

Tony shrugged his shoulders and sipped his drink, looking incredibly smug.

“Well, my Malibu home is destroyed, I’ve repaired Dum-E and given it an upgrade—though there doesn’t appear to be much of a difference, it’s still dumb as a plank of wood—and I’ve somehow made things a little bit awkward between me and Bruce.” 

Dum-E whined pitifully and tried to gain affection from Stark by stroking his arm.

“Hey! Don’t do that! Don't touch me!” he told the robot. “Go and mix me up another drink!”

As Dum-E obediently did so, Stark looked back at Steve and Thor.

“You made things awkward betwixt you and the good Doctor Banner?” asked Thor. “How so?”

“Don’t ask! Well, maybe later. Pepper is talking and smoothing things over with him, y’know, as she does, so I’ve been told to keep out of the way. My lab is still unusable after the explosion last week so I can’t do anything in there, so yeah, I was bored. I couldn’t help myself. Thor, you found it amusing though, didn’t you?”

“It was…good to get out.” Thor replied, bobbing his head in some agreement. “However, despite the reactions of the other humans, I was not embarrassed in the slightest.”

“As I can see.” Tony raised his glass again. “Apologies on my part…but seriously though, you two new love birds have come a long way, it’s touching and it’s beautiful. I shouldn’t mess you around. It’s very naughty of me.”

“Are you mocking us?” asked Steve.

“What? You and Point Break? No! Never!"

“Tony!” Steve’s warning faded somewhat when Thor’s hand touched against his shoulder.

“You should not let him wind you up, Captain.” Thor spoke softly to him. “It’s what he wants.”

“That is true,” Stark said, the mischief in his eyes softened to genuine sincerity. “But I honestly believe you deserve each other after what you’ve both lost. Really. Go. Spend some time together. Go and get sweaty and naked. Just remember next time…”

“We shall be prepared. Of that I can assure you, Stark.” Thor smiled and took up Steve’s hand to ease him backwards.

“No _hard_ feelings?” Tony stifled his laughter behind his mouth before taking a sip of his drink. He snickered some more at the disapproval on Steve’s face and was surprised when Thor caught on and laughed at the comment as well. Loudly.

“Thor? What the heck? Oh really, Stark…that’s just…” Steve couldn’t finish his sentence as Thor gently walked him away to the lift.

“That’s just…”

“That’s just me!” Stark rose his glass and took another swig.


	2. Chapter 2

The bedroom door finally closed and Steve sighed with relief, but Thor saw the manner with which he paced the room, the worry and tension Steve was trying so hard to hide, it was a little obvious. 

Steve Rogers was a strong man in every way. He had helped Thor with his grief for Jane and Loki in more ways than Thor could ever hope for and yet Steve always kept a brave face with his own loss. Bucky had been his best friend and losing him again was greatly traumatic for the human, but he didn’t show it, not openly as Thor showed his feelings. Now with what they had become and the closeness they achieved through sharing their grief, he wanted to do much more for Captain America. Thor would gladly do anything for him.

Thor closed the distance between them and took Steve into his arms, holding him tightly to his chest. He laid his face in the crook of Steve’s neck and squeezed him, feeling the human’s body finally relax in his hold.

“I know not what would have become of me without your friendship, support and your love, Captain Rogers.” Thor pressed a soft tender kiss against Steve’s neck and he felt Steve flinch from the tickle of his beard. They chuckled slightly before Thor leaned back, cupped Steve’s face with his palm and lightly toyed his thumb over his lips. “Please, do not let Tony Stark’s jokes vex thee so.”

“I know I shouldn’t, Thor,” Steve smiled at hearing Thor slipping back to his old fashioned Asgardian speech, “but the man is…argh! I know what Stark is like, I should have expected all this from him, but he succeeds in winding me up all the time.”

“He does that to everyone.”

“He seems to enjoy winding me up more! I know he does! I bet my working with his old man has something to do with it!”

“Relax, my Captain.” Thor gave him another squeezing hug and kissed gentle kisses along the smoothness of Steve’s jaw. Each one made the human Avenger twitch at the tickles again from Thor’s beard, but Steve sighed contently at the pulses of warm pleasure that crept down his spine. “We are alone and together now, Steven. There is no cause to be afraid.”

“I’m not--!” Steve cut himself short and grit his teeth through a smile. Thor knew he was going to say he wasn’t scared, but when Steve leaned back and broke from the hug, it was clear that he was more than a little anxious. He was shaking now, nervous beyond anything Thor had ever thought Captain America to be, but this was to be expected. He knew what Steve was going to say. “I’ve not done this before…this is my first time.”

Thor cupped at Steve’s cheek and kissed his forehead before enveloping Steve again with his arms. “I understand, which is why I wish this to be glorious, but if you would prefer to instead lay and sleep, we can wait for another time.”

“No!” Steve blurted out a little too suddenly and again the both of them laughed.

“I thought as much, your body is certainly anticipating me.” Thor peered down and then gently rubbed his thigh against the definite pitching in Steve’s jeans. Steve closed his eyes. His breath hitched and choked at the friction between them and a pounding pulse of heat in his groin made him become even harder. Steve found his breath again before taking hold of Thor’s hands and opening his eyes.

“It’s…it’s okay.” He said, with great difficulty as Thor continued to kiss around his neck and graze himself against Steve’s erection. “We both agreed that we were ready for now. I just…when it came to getting…. I should have taken care of it, I should have gone to Tony, you didn’t have to volunteer. He took advantage of you…”

“He thought he did, but it was not so.” Thor’s words were broken up between each nipping kiss he planted on Steve’s throat and neck. “What’s done is done. Do not concern yourself with Tony Stark. We are here, alone and with no man of Iron to stand in our way.”

“At last.” Steve beamed happily and clasped at Thor’s hair, bringing him in for a kiss.

The brush of their mouths was light and hesitant at first, nervous just like their shaking hands which trembled as they touched over their bodies. After a few more brief smattering kisses, the tips of their tongues barely grazing the other through their lips, their hands began to slowly undress each other. Clothes fell to the floor, one item at a time, leaving a trail as they slowly stepped towards the bed. 

Once there, once naked and bare, the touching stopped, they broke contact and Thor could only gaze down upon the other man in complete captivation. Steve was glorious naked.

He was perfect.

Thor couldn’t help but stare and he was feeling very aware of his tongue which licked his lips and his overwhelming desire to run that tongue over every part of Steven Rogers’s body.

Every…single…part.

Steve was looking at him in the same way, the longing and want in his eyes as he looked Thor up and down was hungry and primal and the thought of Steve doing such thing to Thor, made the Asgard god swell. 

Thor went to move in again, to touch him and kiss him, but Steve backed away suddenly and that primal hunger and want was replaced by fear, a fear of being very aware that he was naked, that they both were. 

“So!” Steve grinned and instinctively placed his hands over his erection. “You’re….you’re nearly three thousand years old? That’s quite an age gap.”

“Aye. It is that.”

“Doesn’t that worry you? I mean, humans are…”

“I worry not in the slightest. In Asgardian terms I am not even equivalent to 30 Midgardian years old, I’m still young. There is nothing wrong with what we are doing.”

“Well…well, er… you look good for your age. Pretty…damned…good.”

“Thank you. You look magnificent too, Steven.”

“For a human who is 91 years old? Thanks…I guess.”

“91? You’ve not even reached your first century?” Thor faked his surprise at such a statement and it got an instant smirk from Steve. “I didn’t know!”

“Great! Now _you’re_ teasing me!” Steve moved back in closer to Thor, briefly looking down before gazing back up into Thor’s startling blue eyes. “Have I reverted back to my normal self? Is the serum still working?”

“It would not matter to me if it wasn’t.” Thor closed the gap, stroked Steve’s shoulders and his arms before taking hold of his hands. “You are the most amazing 91 year old Midgardian I have ever had the honour of knowing.”

“Really? No. You’re just saying that…you’re--!”

“Captain, be quiet and let me kiss you again.” 

They laughed as they kissed, uncontrollable chuckles and guffaws into one another’s mouths as Thor released their hand hold and his fingers stroked feather touches at Steve’s neck and skimmed down over a bare and smooth, toned chest. Steve smirked and bit his bottom lip hard as Thor traced the outline of Steve’s pecs with the tip of his index finger which caused each of them twitch and flex with every caress. Steve’s hands didn’t know what to do, they were shaking a bit as Thor touched him.

He felt Steve tremble some more and at last his hands rested on Thor’s hips, still unsure of what to do. Goosebumps formed across Steve’s skin as Thor continued, thumbing over Steve’s hardening nipples, pinching them and making light groans come from his mouth. 

Steve’s pleasured murmurs increased and Thor sucked them up with a stronger, more forceful kiss, touching and stroking over his torso as he pushed his tongue inside Steve’s mouth. In a dizzying haze, Thor continued the kiss, feeling Steve sink into his hold, giving up all resistance when both cheeks of his ass were grabbed and squeezed. 

Steve gasped again when Thor broke the kiss, both of them panted for breath but Thor didn’t give Steve time to regain equilibrium. His body jerked when Thor leaned down and took one nipple into his mouth and bit on the nub, at the time same time as his nails were digging sharply into one of Steve’s buttocks.

“Oh….fu--!”

Steve couldn’t even finish his sentence. Thor kissed his body again, some soft, others with sharp bites to sensitive nipples and when he ran his tongue over Steve’s torso, Thor smiled at every sharp intake of breath from the human and every excited reaction. He badly wanted to go lower, to taste between Steve’s legs but such a thought made an idea come to his mind. Thor stopped kissing him, and carefully eased the dazed Steve back on to the bed.

When the euphoria passed, when his mind cleared, Steve once again became scared, extremely self-conscious about lying naked like he was. His hands tried to cup himself but then he kept taking them away, trying to be confident about this. 

“Relax.” Thor said reassuringly. “You have nothing to be nervous about, I will be gentle.”

“I’m sure you will but…I can’t exactly help it…this is my first time. It’s not something that I can keep calm about. Surely you were just the same for your first?”

Thor nodded his head, but he wasn’t going to tell Steve about it. It was hardly the appropriate time. However, Steve suddenly shot up and shuffled backwards until he hit the headboard.

“Oh god! Thor, how many people have you been with in your ‘nearly three thousand’ years of being alive?”

Thor sighed.

“It is not an appropriate subject to discuss now. I am with you and that is all that matters.”

“But…”

“Say nothing more.” Thor scowled and pointed a finger at Steve as he spoke in his most commanding voice “Stay there! Do not move a muscle, son of Rogers! Do not dare!”

“What?”

“Do not move!”

Thor had to restrain from grinning at the sight of Captain America tensing suddenly like a child who had been told off. When he was satisfied that Steve wasn’t going to move, Thor walked away from the bed and returned a few seconds later, kneeling down and crawling to position himself by Steve’s feet, with his hands behind his back. The look of bewilderment on Steve’s face was hugely amusing and Thor grinned.

“What…what are you doing?” asked Steve.

“Pick a hand.” Steve sat up and frowned. Thor sighed. “Pick a hand!”

Steve pointed to Thor’s right. “ _What are you doing?_ ”

Thor brought out his right hand and opened up his palm. Before Steve could protest, beyond the look of absolute surprise, Thor manuvered on his knees, pulled Steve away from the headboard and onto his back, and gently nudged open Steve’s legs. 

Steve didn’t know what to look at, Thor’s naked body or the condom and the set of instructions he was holding in his right hand.

“Thor?”

Thor held up his left hand to silence Steve and he looked at the instructions.

“You stated that you needed to be protected and now I will protect thee. Just bear with me as I find out how to put this on you.”

Thor tentatively licked his fingers and stroked them against Steve’s cock, testing and feeling the heat throbbing beneath his tips. Steve bucked.

“Thor, maybe I can put it on myself?” he gasped, grabbing at Thor’s hand as if to push it away. Steve only managed to hold Thor’s hand in place, mumbling as Asgardian fingers continued to stroke him. “Please…let me put it on…myself.”

“No. I can do this, after all I learnt how to operate the toilet that jets water on your rear.”

“The bidet?” Steve choked again, with disbelief. 

“Yes! I learnt that and how to gain access to the internet, as well as other Midgardian devices. I’m certain I can put a con-dome on your manhood. Now be still.” Thor placed the instructions down and—thankfully for Steve—took his hand away from his cock, but Thor squinted as he began to read. 

“'Put the con-dome on when the penis is erect before there is any contact between the penis and your partner's body.' Well…we are both erect…so that is not an issue. 'Fluid released from the penis during the early stages of an erection can contain sperm and organisms that can cause STI's'. Indeed?”

Steve snorted with laughter and had to slap his hand over his mouth as Thor continued to read the instructions just like he had with the TV manual, the VCR manual and the DIY manual on how to unblock a drain. Thor liked to be thorough in such matters but he was pleased that his plan was working. Steve was more than smirking now.

“'Rip open foil packaging, being careful not to rip the con-dome.'”

Thor noticed Steve had closed his eyes and was biting his bottom lip again.

“'Air trapped inside a con-dome could cause it to break. To avoid this, squeeze the closed end of the con-dome between your forefinger and thumb and place the con-dome over the erect penis. Be sure the roll is on the outside.'”

Steve was laughing, just as Thor had hoped.

It was distracting him, provoking another feeling other than anxiety and Thor could see and feel him relax. Even when he touched Steve, when he placed the condom over Steve’s cock, Steve was still struggling not to laugh. 

“'While still squeezing the closed end, use your other hand to unroll the con-dome gently down the full length of the penis. Make sure the con-dome stays in place during sex; if it rolls up, roll it back into place immediately.'”

Steve’s body moved under Thor’s touch. Thor heard Steve’s soft gasps and moans as he rolled the sheath down with his fingers. He was still laughing though, laughing as Thor continued to read.

“'If the con-dome comes off, withdraw the penis and put on a new con-dome before intercourse continues.'” Thor nodded his head in agreement. “That is self-evident. One cannot use faulty armour.”

“Thor…have you quite finished?” Steve tried to speak through his laughter and he was getting anxious again, but not in the way before, Thor noticed. He was impatient and with that smile still planted on his flushed face meant he was impatient in the good way.

“Do not rush me, my Captain. I am making sure that everything is perfect…”

“ _Thor!_ ”

“'Soon after climaxing, while still erect, hold the condom in place at the base of the penis and withdraw. Wrap it in a tissue and put it in a trash can. Hmm, proper disposal is essential.' Sensible.”

Throwing the instructions over his shoulder, Thor took up one of Steve’s legs and kissed slowly, almost in worship, from his ankle downwards, before slipping his lips over the head of Steve’s cock.

“Thor! What the hell are you… _oh my god!_ ”

It wasn’t right at first, the taste was all wrong, he wasn’t used to it, but when Thor swallowed more, it didn’t matter. It was actually quite pleasant.

Though Steve Rogers thought it was much more than quite pleasant.

Thor grinned as much as he could with his mouth full of cock.

“Pleasepleasepleaseohgodpleaseplease…”

This _was_ Steve’s first time. His knuckles and his toes went white as they dug hard into the mattress, each gulping swallow Thor made only caused him to clench harder. Thor loved the sounds that murmured from his Captain’s mouth, the quick panting gasps he made and the exquisite expressions upon his face, so Thor continued to bob, taking all of Steve in until the shakes and convulsions beneath him told Thor it was time to retract.

He pulled away, smiling at the sight of the goofy grin upon Steve’s face, and wiped the saliva dripping from his mouth and chin. Thor wasn’t about to let Steve recover, so he rose up and crawled on top of him, his knees either side of Steve’s hips, and then he lovingly wiped the beads of sweat that were forming on the other Avenger’s brow.

It took only a brief moment for Thor to test his own suppleness, two of his spit covered fingers wetting his arse, before he whispered some soothing and comforting words to Steve. Then he took hold of Steve’s cock and slowly sank down onto him.

Steve cried out. Nails dug into Thor’s legs and his breathing became so erratic that when Thor was able, he placed his hands over Steve’s and once he had taken every inch of Steve within, he began to rock. Slowly.

He heard Steve’s moans sound with his own. The penetration stretched him more. Steve’s girth was thicker than what he was used to, but by all things holy in Asgard, it felt marvelous. It had been a while for Thor since he had last been with a man, but now as they began to find a rhythm that worked, as they ground together in near perfect synch, Thor desperately wanted more. He growled, he moaned and murmured words in his mother-tongue, he forced Steve to hold onto him harder and as the pleasure soared through his body, Thor slowly began to lose control.

“Don’t stop. Don’t stop…please my Steven, don’t stop.”

Thor lost his balance. He felt them come apart and a huge bout of dizziness caused him to fall backwards.

Now it was him who could hardly breathe. He could only palm himself and keep that euphoric high going with hard squeezing tugs. Thor didn’t even realise he was still whispering Steve’s name, until suddenly it was his legs pushed aside and when he looked up Steve was above him, looking dazed as well, but very pleasured.

Steve stroked at Thor’s beard and across his chest, before pushing inside of him. Just the act of doing so made the human Avenger collapse down to Thor who enveloped him once again in his arms. Thor held Steve as he moved within him, tentative and nervous thrusts as he uttered eternal ‘thank-yous’ in Thor’s ear. 

Thor couldn’t respond except for his touches and his guidance as they continued to gyrate together, building up a slickening sweat and deafening vocalising, the latter of which was soon muffled by a crushing and demanding kiss.

But such a kiss made Steve stop and sit up. 

“What’s wrong, Captain?” Thor asked, planting his hands firmly on Steve’s wet rear.

Steve licked his lips.

“Strawberries. When I kissed you…I could taste…well, something, and what was definitely strawberries. You picked the flavoured one, didn’t you?”

Thor beamed happily as if it was the greatest achievement ever. It made him even happier when Steve leaned down and kissed him again.

“I love strawberries.”

Strawberries and Steve Rogers, it was a wonderful combination.

Life was once good again. Thor never thought it would be after the loss of his Jane Foster, of the woman the Dark Elves had so brutally killed. Steve Rogers made it possible to feel love again and this time, he was going to make sure that the man he loved was protected, in more ways than one. 

 

\------

 

“Breakfast?”

No one had heard Steve Rogers laugh so loud before. 

When Thor put in front of him a bowl of strawberries the guffaw and hysterics was so out of character for the normally calm and collected leader of the Avengers.

“Thanks, but I’m not supplying the cream, not this time.”

Tony Stark sat next to Bruce Banner, utterly bewildered at the two men laughing and being so intimate together. For the second time in such a short space of time, the playboy philanthropist and billionaire was speechless.

“It is a little different seeing them like that, isn’t it?” asked Clint behind them as he poured some coffee into his personalised mug.

“Different, but not…surprising.” Bruce replied, stirring his coffee a little too enthusiastically. He only managed to stop stirring when Pepper Pots gently rested her hand upon his. Her touch made him flush a little and when she pulled away there was a curious tingling across his skin.

“I for one am pleased.” Nastasha added sitting down opposite Tony and watching as Steve and Thor ate their strawberries together. “And it all started with a simple kiss by mistake.”

"Kissing by mistake?" Clint sunk down next to the Black Widow and shook his head. "How does that happen?" 

"It's easily done." Natasha replied. They both nodded and the assassins glared at the two scientists opposite them.

“So Tony, you and Bruce had best be careful,” Pepper smirked.

The spray of coffee from Tony’s mouth went all over the Black Widow and somehow Bruce Banner had snapped a perfectly sturdy metal spoon in half.


End file.
